In my conversations and meetings with people recently, I have been struck by how prevalent suffering is among our body. Many have gone through, or are currently going through, deep and painful suffering, either as the result of their own sin, others sin against them, or a complex mixture of both. I wanted to offer a few words by way of encouragement to both those suffering, and those walking alongside them (which I am thankful is characteristic of our church body).
- Don’t neglect your need for the physical presence of others. God created us as embodied people—not just minds or hearts—and as such, created us to exist and thrive in deep community with others. It is tempting to remove ourselves from Christian community when we are suffering, especially when our own sin is involved, but in doing so, we are removing ourselves from an immediate and tangible source of encouragement and strength. Though I think the “holy kiss” commands of Scripture are contextually bound, we should greet one another affectionally with the modern-day equivalent: a warm hug or the like. Our bodies and souls need such physical encouragements.
- Read, meditate on, and/or memorize the Psalms. The Psalms offer a wealth and diversity of encouragement when we face trials of various kinds. But it is more than just sage advice or helpful considerations: it is God’s word. God knows that we will experience a vast range of situations, and feel a vast range of deep emotions, and has given us the Psalms as a comfort in such times. Meditate on the Psalms of lament: Psalms 130, 22 (which Jesus cried from the cross), 86. When tempted to envy those not devoted to God and his ways, read Psalm 73. Proclaim with faith Psalms of praise like Psalms 100 and 103.
- Know that trials are purposeful, even “necessary” under God’s providence. Peter writes that “now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Pet. 1:6-7). When in the midst of a trial, it is easy for our only priority to be finding relief. This is not a wrong desire in its place. But God would have us consider that suffering well is of great value, resulting—among other things—in strengthening and confirming our faith. Nothing that you go through as God’s beloved child is outside of his good providence, and thus nothing is meaningless.
- Recognize and rebuke lies of the unfairness of your situation. When suffering, we are prone to think, “I deserve better than this. Why do other people have easier lives (or marriages, or finances, or abilities) than I do? God, why me?” But if we believe the gospel of Christ and him crucified for sinners, then the reality is that God has always given us more—not less—than what we deserve. We are always in a position of undeserved grace and blessing. This is not to minimize or ignore the very real suffering we experience. But it is to step back and see it in the bigger picture (“this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison”—2 Cor. 4:17). Where this becomes particularly difficult is when our suffering is the result of others’ sin against us. While the Bible gives us wisdom for addressing such sin (and at times protecting ourselves and others from it), we must always remember that whatever the sin done against us, it never outweighs our own sin against a holy God. Which leads to…
- Remember that Christ suffered the extreme injustice in dying for your sins. Whatever our suffering, we never “one-up” our Savior in the injustice of our situation. We never “pass him up,” such that he doesn’t understand or can’t sympathize with us. We are comforted by the truth that we have one who is able “to sympathize with our weaknesses…who in every respect has been tempted as we are” (Heb. 4:15). As his beloved people, he is not standing against us in our sin and suffering, but standing alongside us, compassionately and powerfully working in us.
- Finally, be humble, teachable, approachable, repentant, always remembering “the deceitfulness of sin” (Heb. 3:13). How much easier would life be if those around you—especially those who sin against you—demonstrated such qualities? Begin to make life easier for others—and yourself—by pursuing such qualities in your own life. “Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19). Know the human tendency to fixate on the “specks” in other people’s eyes, and ignore the “planks” in your own eye (Mt. 7:1-5). Rest secure in God’s grace and removal of condemnation, such that you freely acknowledge and repent of your sin.