This past Sunday, we began Ephesians 4, which transitions from the proclamations of God’s grace and glory in chapters 1-3 to the ethical and moral commands for the church of chapters 4-6. It begins:
“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” (Eph. 4:1-6)
The overall focus here is unity among God’s people, among the church. The rest of the commands in verses 2-3 are also relational, and flesh out how to maintain unity: humility, gentleness, patience, bearing with one another in love.
While God saves us individually, Scripture is clear that his salvation—‘’the calling to which we’ve been called”–joins us to a people—the church—and calls us to make an utmost priority of maintaining unity within the church. And “maintain” is a key word, because this unity is already established by our common “one”-ness in God, as verses 4-6 state.
I ended the sermon by giving some practical, tangible ways to “be eager to maintain” this unity within the specific body of believers God has called you, and will repeat those here. Unity is an easy concept to throw around, and few are going to object to it. But what can we do to actually pursue and display the unity that is ours in Christ?
First, begin by simply getting to know others better. Try to understand their priorities and concerns, their motivations, their challenges and hardships, their experience. While it is true that those closest to us can hurt us the most, and there is always that risk, it is also true that we will be slower to write-off and ignore those we know well, or to see them merely as the sum of their sin.
Secondly, build up relational capital with people. Financial capital refers to assets and resources that you have stored up to draw from when needed. Relational capital is trust and goodwill and evidence of love that you store up over time than can be drawn from in times of sin and suffering. Develop strong relationships that can withstand storms.
Third, remember that people are always a mixture of sin and suffering. The temptation is to think, at various times, it’s only one or the other. Specifically, in times when all you can see is someone’s sin, consider that there is probably suffering going on as well. Suffering may have contributed to their sin—doesn’t justify it, but can help explain it—and they are probably suffering due to their sin as well.
This doesn’t mean they see this clearly, or that they will be immediately overjoyed that you were able to point it out! But it should give you some compassion, even if you do confront them.
Fourth, always remember how much you depend on God’s grace daily. When you find yourself impatient and frustrated with others, it’s probably a sign that you are forgetting how much grace God is showing you. You are in the same position before God that this frustrating, sinful person is before you. And are you going to be harsh with them, while God is showing you grace?!
This doesn’t mean to ignore or justify their sin; but do the work to see them and yourself accurately, in light of God’s grace, first. In Jesus’ words, “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye” (Mt. 7:5).
Fifth, fight to reconcile and restore relationships where possible. Reconciliation glorifies God. Restoration may not always be possible, but do all that you can on your part. Paul writes, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (Rom. 12:18). This doesn’t mean demanding others see things just as you do, making ultimatums. But do what you can, with patience and gentleness.
Sixth and finally, where there has been hurt, and complete resolution or agreement doesn’t seem possible, and it’s not a matter of unrepentance of a clear and evident sin that calls into question their faith—and this is often the case–trust God and his perfect justice.
Maybe you are right; maybe you are not. Probably you see some things clearly, but not other things. And they see some things clearly, but not other things. Whatever the case, God will be just in the end, God will do right in the end. And if he has forgiven you, then you can forgive them, and are called to do so.
As we pursue these things and fight to maintain the unity of the Spirit, we give visible testimony to the claim of Ephesians 3:10: “…so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places.”
I encourage you to consider one person in the church with whom you could pursue this unity at this moment.